Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Last night I cried....
Last night I cried and I cried and I cried..... I felt myself being pulled back into the awful pain of our adoption process. So frustrating. I thought I had dealt with all the pain, but when it was thrown in my face by someone I considered a dear friend, I realized that maybe I only suppressed it. I literally wailed as I took a walk through the woods. I just couldn't stop. Today I feel like I am in a fog. Not able to think. I called that friend and apologized for any pain that I had caused her when we adopted our son. I apologized for any pain that they might have had as a result. I don't know what else to do. I gave my anger and resentment for the way people had judged us and lied about us to the Lord long ago and I harbored no ill will to those people. I just want to go back to bed and stay there. It hurts and I am tired...
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Thought I left a comment on this a while ago..guess not. Sorry!
ReplyDeleteI wanted to say that I'm praying for you. Of course, I don't know any details, and I don't need to. It just sounds as if you are struggling a lot with the adoption fall-out. I'm not sure how anyone could be attacked for adopting, but I'm sure it happens!
I will be praying for you. If you need to talk or need any support, just email me.
Take care and God bless.
So sorry.
ReplyDeleteOh how I understand the pain of being judged and lied about. So hard. So sad.
I know all about tears.
I know all about wanting to just pull the covers up and stay in bed all day.
Been there. Done that.
Hugs to you!
Laurel :)